Entry: Kape Thursday, February 25, 2010



HINDI AKO coffee addict. Di ko lang matiis na di lumagok sa loob ng isang araw nitong maitim, mapait-pait, at matamis na likidong nagbibigay buhay sa aking dugo.

Pero hindi ito tungkol sa kape na iniinum tuwing umaga. Hindi ito tungkol sa kung ano ang gusto kong timpla o sa paborito kong coffee shop. 

Tungkol ito sa isang bagong kaibigan. Hindi man siya inumin, siya ay nakakapatid ng uhaw. Hindi man siya alak, siya ay nakakalasing. Hindi man siya yung tipong intelektwal, siya ay nakakapag-stimulate ng pag-iisip.

Noong nakaraang taon ko pa siya nakilala. Kakaiba siya sa grupo. Maingay. Makwento. Walang dull moments tuwing katambayan namin siya. Siya 'yung tipong maraming nasasabi tungkol sa kung anu-ano. Kapag nagkukuwento, kanya ang palaging spectacular. Parang kapag nagkukuwento siya ay laging "wala 'yan sa lolo ko." Kwela minsan. Minsan naman hindi.

Nawala siya nung mga panahong naramdaman niyang hindi na siya welcome sa grupo.

Nitong mga huling linggo, nakipagkita siya sa akin. Sa akin lang siguro siya mukhang kampante kasi nakikinig naman kasi talaga ako eh. Kahit kanino. Hindi rin ako masalita kaya hindi siya mababara.

Taliwas sa inaasahan ko ang naging pagkikita naming 'yun. May kaibahan na akong napansin. Parang I can see his soul through his eyes. Parang winaksi na niya ang pader na nakapalibot sa kanyang tunay na pagkatao. Yung pagiging kwela niya ay bahagi lamang ng kanyang personalidad at 'yun lang ang gusto niyang ipakita.

Maraming siyang hangups sa buhay. Dumaan din ako sa ganung estado. Yung tipong sobrang daming pinagsisisihan. Nag-uumapaw ang kagustuhang mabago ang kalagayan.

Birthday niya kahapon. Lumabas kami. Uminom konti. Sa loob ng mga tatlong oras, malaliman ang aming pag-uusap. May mga pagkakatulad din ang aming mga kwento at ilang prinsipyo. Magkaiba lang kami ng diskarte sa pagharap ng kani-kaniyang problema. 

Idol ang tawag niya sa akin. Pero bilib ako sa kanya. Masasabi kong malawak ang kanyang karanasan sa buhay. Maraming siyang alam. Hindi niya nga lang hinarap ng maayos ang mga naging problema o naging biktima siya ng kawalan ng mapagpipilian.

Pagkatapos ng aming usapan, sa palagay ko, mas may direksyon na ang pag-iisip niya. Hindi ako 'yung tipong nagbibigay ng advice. Matanong lang ako. Hinayaan ko lang siyang bumuo ng kanyang mga teorya at resolusyon.

Ako man ay mas nagkaroon ng malalimang pag-unawa sa aking sarili dahil sa aming pag-uusap.Habang nagsasalita siya, parang nailalabas ko na rin ang mga ideyang hindi ko maipahayag sa salita. Naiinggit nga ako sa kakayahan niyang sabihin lahat ng nasa isip niya.

Si Kape ay hindi pangkaraniwan. 

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